Is it the time of the year that is causing this, is it just being away,
Regardless of what the direct cause is, it is a strong force pulling me back into fray. It is time to return, to redesign, to be fully present in every moment, not inward or outward but right there, balance. Over the last 2 1/2 years I put an important part of my life up on the shelf, unnecessary pressure which caused self induced coma.
Coming to is painful, but necessary. It allows one to become present to what you have created and the effects. I see things differently. I want to suffer, not in misery but to know the pain, to get familiar with it again but not callus. To push through it, to put the work in and see results. That feels good. To suffer with a smile. To push.
