Rhythm is building but for the moment I am hangin'

Start, stop, start, stop, bits and pieces. It is coming together, the rhythm. Finally put together a full solid week. Momentum is starting and soon inertia will do its little trick and take over.
Forcing the pendulum to reverse mid-flight is to fight against all odds of natures laws, God put them there for a reason. You always loose the fight but when you surrender, not quit, not give up, but SURRENDER you've reached that moment when you hang in time right before your shoot back to the other side. The idea is to slow the pace down and stretch it out but I don't think you can control the pace you can react to it, tweak it a bit but it goes with or without you.

The momentum is building, the rhythm has resemblance of a pattern, but for what? Whatever it is I feel the need to keep pushing to catch this wave and ride it out for as long as I can.

Reawakening

Is it the time of the year that is causing this, is it just being away,

Regardless of what the direct cause is, it is a strong force pulling me back into fray. It is time to return, to redesign, to be fully present in every moment, not inward or outward but right there, balance. Over the last 2 1/2 years I put an important part of my life up on the shelf, unnecessary pressure which caused self induced coma.

Coming to is painful, but necessary. It allows one to become present to what you have created and the effects. I see things differently. I want to suffer, not in misery but to know the pain, to get familiar with it again but not callus. To push through it, to put the work in and see results. That feels good. To suffer with a smile. To push.